The Journey of Life

I have basically torched any chance at an Ivy-League university, and ive been too focused on totally meaningless and shallow ideas. And now any chance I had to go to the Ivy League university like i wanted to is gone. Most of the grades on my report card is in the Cs range and I will probably pay for that dearly.

This was not supposed to be my destiny. I was the person everyone had high hopes for and what have i become instead? someone who is insecure, never asserts her opinions and forever second-guesses herself. Oh wow i dont know what to do. My friends seem to be mad at me, no-one seems to be able to give me answers to my questions. Even though they dont have to answer my questions because it is my problem. But I feel lost, afraid and hurt. Ive made a complete idiot of myself.

I cant get into Yale or Columbia now, my grades would never pass the admissions board. I am truly sad and depressed. And its completely my fault. And though may seem overdramatic Lord I ask of thee please, what is gonna happen now? I was too be a shooting star, and I seem to be the opposite. What have I dont to myself.

Oh God what have I done?

Now that we are 4th formers, life seems more stressful,

less times to sleep at night, more homework to do and overall

u feel very stressful.

Then you hear of classmates elected as Junior Mayors, classmates who are receiving Magis

awards, and u cant help but think wats wrong with u?

Then you think of ur grades and how uninvolved u r and u will never be able to become the person u want to be

because low self-esteem prevents u from striving to be noticed.

I am indeed ashamed of myself and i feel rather worthless and thats not a feeling that is generally healthy.
So Lord wat shall I do?

I lack a great deal of self-confidence, dont know my faults and have a generally poor state of mind.

Help me i beseech you.