The Journey of Life

End of high school is finally here! Well in a little over a week actually. Time to say arrivederci to everyone. And I truly leave with an unweighed heart. I don’t mind not going to graduation, in fact, I am ecstatic I don’t have to. Truly ready to leave everyone and Campion behind.

Side note: I am just here, calmly freaking out and wondering how I am even going to get to sleep tonight.

I really don’t know what’s been happening. You truly came out of the blue, a shot in the dark. You completely blindsided me. I never felt this way about anyone before. Point. Blank. Period. It has to be the most irksome, terrifying and saddening feeling I have felt to date. Irksome because you seem to consume all my thoughts now, terrifying because I realize when you reject me (and lol it truly is inevitable) I will be truly hurt for the first and saddening because I know you and I won’t be, at least not in the foreseeable future.

I wish you did but you don’t. But I will still be there as a friend. Because even if you rejected me, I’d still care. Damn. You could be the 1st love they say so much about. You really have completely shattered my previous way of thinking. And you’ve barely acknowledged me in that sense *sigh* This is just pathetic. 

Oh Lord, I feel like this topic has been discussed to death. I mean, if we turn on the TV at any point in time and go to Nick, Disney, ABC Family and you know all your children-friendly stations (which admittedly are becoming less innocence-friendly but that’s a different post), there will be at least 1 episdoe where the female protagonist or the female lead, is wronged by a guy. And so begins this cycle of ENTITLEMENT

let’s all be honest, we cannot go through life without getting a jab directly to the heart, guy or girl. If you somehow manage to avoid that, you have never been in love. People are reckless, self-involved or truly believe they are doing you a favour. Either way, they are misguided. I believe the problem arises when we hold that chip onto our shoulder

Unfortunately, it is usually the girl who ends up getting screwed over. In traditional gender roles, a girl is the one who falls head over heels in puppy love, while for the guy it was an experiment. But the world is changing my friends. More and more girls are  the ones doing the wrong, and are still treated as the innocents.

But I digress. If you are a boy or a girl, transexual or a hermaphodite, if you were in a relationship and the person did you wrong, you pick yourself and keep on moving. But I promise this to you faithfully, if you hold onto that seed of bitterness, it will consume you. And this isn’t some melodramatic, poetic rubbish – I am being quite serious. Any negative emotion you harbour in your soul whether intentional or accidental, will fester and fluorish one day. And it doesn’t even have to happen in some dramatic LMN movie meltdown level kind of thing. You can be 25, when the youthful days are now just fond memories, and you realize, without the distractions of unbridled freedom and lack of inhibition, you can’t open yourself. And hey, it isn’t abnormal. It is a basic animal instinct to protect ourselves against future pain. When you walk in the hot sun too long on gravel, your heel becomes cracked and hardened. You toughen yourself against immediate and future threats.

But you deserve better. That is the simple truth. You may have been a “pathetic” individual, “unworthy” of love. IF you want to be so hard on yourself, so be it. Hey, I am hardly one to talk. It is a commonly held belief that one of the most remarkable human abilities is the ease at which we as a species adapt to change. And we all know, it is the only constant in life. So as the days go bye, don’t think of them as one concurrent event : treat each day differnetly.

Each day is an opportunity to better yourself as a person. I don’t know how to show you how sincerely I believe this and know this to be true : You can change. And you can learn to love again. But don’t jump foolhardedly into the next stranger with that “magnetic” persona. But hey if you’re impulsive, learn to be quick to learn.

Naivete and innocence has become a luxury one simply cannot avoid in the world. It seems that as globalization swept the world, and the walls between nations tumbled down, the safe havens we constructed as by-products of isolation from one another are being broken down. And no-one knows how to cope. But hey, how can you as yet cope with a force you know nothing about?

So on Saturday, July 21, 2012, I created 2 recipes : Blue Velvet Cupcakes and Watermelon Limeade. For Sunday dinner, I made Pineapple-Watermelon Fruit Punch! But everyone drank it so fast, not a second was left to take a picture! I will make it again soon though.

Here are the pictures:

Jordan pouring of course! 🙂

Not the best presentation I’ve seen and I didn’t make any frosting since it would have eventually melted in storage.

So neither have been started as yet! haha. But I know I will do it this time and believe me, that’s a huge step in the right direction. But my procrastination is truly appalling.

In other news, today marked a week without service and I have to say I am loving it. I cannot tell a lie. I feel no way about virtually being disconnected from the familiar.

Concerning my blog posts, I should tell you from now I am not about sharing.I don’t discuss my problems simply because they are mine. But I do break down and discuss them with people at times. I need to stop that.

This post has no central theme. This is so atypical from me. But I am suffering from insomnia and my first day of work is tomorrow. Typical really -_-.

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Look at foolish little me in the blog post “Enlightenment”. Haha. I have always known that one never finishes learning until the heart takes the finally beat but the last few months have really proved it to me. I have truly disappointed myself as I have wasted the month of June. But I can’t dwell on that now. I still have the months of June and July to accomplish what I want.

This week, which starts today, June 24 2012, will be marked with the commencement of 2 journeys : my P90X journey and my path to culinary refinement.

Every day, (yes that’s quite ambitious), I will write 2 blog posts : 1 describing my day doing P90X and 1 describing my culinary experience of the day. (I really need to learn how to cook).

But for some reason, I want to document these journeys. I truly think I do. So the only other person I’ve told about this is my friend, Kemoi. Kem, you may or may not choose to follow this daily. ‘Tis really of no matter to me.

My choice to document 31 day journey for P90X and this 62 journey for Culinary Master classes is not rash. I need to do this. I could have written a well-articulated, truly awe-inspiring introduction to these oh so grand journeys but I chose not to.

So tomorrow, I start the 1st day of P90X with my mom and on Monday, I will try my 1st recipe. I need to organize these after I post this.

I intend not to let myself down. I have so many times before, and the pattern needs to be broken before I can achieve this change I desperately need.

P.S. I am going to divide the 2 journeys into 2 different categories on this blog.

I love how in the last post I made I said I was getting into the blogging thing and then you hear nothing from Jodi 😐 but I think that’s a good thing. I started this blog just because my friend Wendy and my friend at the time, Shelice did. But I’ve grown so much since then I scarcely know how to word it but I will definitely blog more frequently.

Right now, I’m practising for my Math Module 2 Test. X_X Here’s to me not failing!

I am really loving this blogging thing. Truly 😀 It is not as crowded as Tumblr so I can express myself sincerely. I feel as if I can be myself here. I am pretty excited :):)